LIBRARY 

University  of 

California 

Irvine 


It? 

' 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 


THE 

OPPRESSED 
ENGLISH 


BY 

IAN 

Author  of  "The  First  Hundred  Thousand," 

"Getting  Together,"  "A  Safety 

Match,"  Etc. 


GARDEN  CITY  NEW  YORK 

DOUBLEDAY,  PAGE  &  COMPANY 

1917 


Copyright,  1917,  by 
IAN  HAY  BEITH 

All  rights  reserved,  including  that  of 

translation  into  foreign  languages, 

including  the  Scandinavian 


CHAPTER  ONE 


CHAPTER  ONE 

As  a  Scotsman,  the  English 
people  have  my  profound  sym- 
pathy. 

In  the  comic  papers  of  all  coun- 
tries the  Englishman  is  depicted — : 
or  was  in  the  days  of  peace — as 
stupid,  purseproud,  thick-skinned, 
arrogant,  and  tyrannical.  In  prac- 
tice, what  is  he?  The  whipping- 
boy  of  the  British  Empire. 

In  the  War  of  to-day,  for  in- 
stance, whenever  anything  par- 
ticularly unpleasant  or  unpopular 
has  to  be  done — such  as  holding  up 
neutral  mails,  or  establishing  a 
blacklist  of  neutral  firms  trading 


4         THE   OPPRESSED    ENGLISH 

with  the  enemy — upon  whom  does 
theodiumfall?  Upon  "  England  " ; 
never  upon  France,  and  only  oc- 
casionally upon  Great  Britain. 
The  people  and  press  interested 
thunder  against  "England's  Arro- 
gance." Again,  in  the  neutral 
days,  when  an  American  newspaper 
published  a  pro-British  article, 
Potsdam  complained  peevishly 
that  the  entire  American  Press 
was  being  bribed  with  "Eng- 
lish" gold.  A  German  school 
teacher  is  greeted  by  her  infant 
class  with  the  amiable  formula: 
"Good  morning,  teacher.  Gott 
strafe  England  I ' '  (Never  * '  Brit- 
ain," as  a  Scotsman  once  very 
rightly  complained  to  me.)  On  the 
other  hand,  when  there  is  any 
credit  going  round — say,  for  the 


THE   OPPRESSED   ENGLISH         5 

capture  of  a  hitherto  impregnable 
ridge  on  the  Western  Front — to 
whom  is  that  credit  assigned? 
Well,  it  depends.  If  the  Canadians 
took  the  ridge,  Canada  gets  the 
credit;  and  the  world's  press  (in- 
cluding the  press  of  London  and 
England  generally)  pays  due  trib- 
ute to  the  invincible  valour  of  the 
men  from  the  Dominions.  Or,  if  a 
Scottish  or  Irish  regiment  took  the 
ridge,  the  official  report  from  Gen- 
eral Headquarters  makes  apprecia- 
tive reference  to  the  fact.  But  how 
often  do  we  see  the  phrase:  "The 
ridge  was  stormed,  under  heavy 
fire,  by  an  English  regiment?" 
Practically  never.  A  victory 
gained  by  English  boys  from 
Devon  or  Yorkshire  appears  as  a 
British  victory,  pure  and  simple. 


6         THE   OPPRESSED   ENGLISH 

Now  why?  Why  should  the 
credit  for  the  good  deeds  of  the 
British  Empire  be  ascribed  to  those 
respectively  responsible — except 
the  English — while  the  odium  for 
the  so-called  bad  deeds  is  lumped 
on  to  England  alone?  To  a  certain 
extent,  England  herself  is  to  blame. 
When  a  Scotsman  speaks  of  Scot- 
land he  means  Scotland.  An 
Irishman,  when  he  speaks  of  Ire- 
land, means  Ireland  and  nowhere 
else.  But  when  an  Englishman 
speaks  of  "England,"  he  may 
mean  Scotland,  or  Ireland,  or  even 
Canada!  This  playful  habit  of 
assuming  that  England  is  the  Em- 
pire, and  that  the  Empire  is  Eng- 
land, does  not  always  make  for 
imperial  fraternity,  even  though 
in  the  vast  majority  of  cases  not 


THE   OPPRESSED    ENGLISH         7 

the  slightest  offence  is  intended. 
To  the  average  Englishman  it 
seems  simpler  to  say  "England." 
But  there  are  other  and  deeper 
reasons.  England  is  a  big  nation, 
while  the  others  are  small.  There 
are  more  people  in  London  than  in 
the  whole  of  Scotland,  or  Ireland, 
or,  until  recent  years,  Canada. 
And  a  small  nation  is  always  in- 
tensely sensitive,  and  assertive,  of 
its  own  nationality.  The  English, 
too,  are  an  exceedingly  placid 
nation.  Their  enemies  call  them 
self-satisfied,  but  this  is  hardly 
just.  Scotsmen  and  Irishmen 
celebrate  the  mysteries  of  St.  An- 
drew's Day  and  St.  Patrick's  Day 
with  a  fervour  only  equalled  by 
that  of  the  average  American 
citizen  on  the  Fourth  of  July.  But 


8         THE   OPPRESSED   ENGLISH 

if  you  were  to  ask  the  average 
Englishman  the  date  of  St. 
George's  Day,  he  probably  would 
not  be  able  to  tell  you:  and  under 
no  circumstances  would  he  dream 
of  celebrating  the  occasion. 

"Of  course  I  am  proud  of  being 
an  Englishman,"  he  says  in  effect; 
"but  everybody  realizes  that.  So 
why  advertise  the  fact  unneces- 
sarily? Why  make  a  cantata 
about  it?" 

It  is  this  same  attitude  of  mind 
which  causes  an  Englishman  to 
care  little,  provided  a  piece  of  work 
is  well  done  for  the  cause  in  which 
he  is  interested,  who  gathers  the 
credit.  Instinct  and  tradition  have 
taught  him  to  set  the  cause  above 
the  prize.  It  is  this  characteristic 
which  makes  him  such  an  amaz- 


THE   OPPRESSED   ENGLISH         9 

ingly  successful  subordinate  offi- 
cial, whether  in  the  Services  or  in 
commerce.  He  is  not  vitally  in- 
terested to  climb  to  the  top.  His 
job,  for  its  own  sake,  suffices  him. 
He  is  content  to  work  below  the 
waterline,  and  if  the  Ship  goes 
forward  he  is  satisfied.  So  he 
smiles  paternally  on  these  aggres- 
sively patriotic  little  brethren  of 
his;  allows  them  to  absorb  all  pos- 
sible credit  for  their  respective 
achievements;  and  philosophically 
shoulders  the  responsibility  for  the 
shortcomings  of  the  British  Em- 
pire. It  saves  trouble;  it  saves  ex- 
planation; and  an  average  Eng- 
lishman would  rather  be  scalped 
than  explain. 

This  stoical  attitude  is  all  very 
well,  but  it  can  undoubtedly  be 


10      THE   OPPRESSED   ENGLISH 

carried  too  far.  Patience  is  a 
virtue,  but  an  overthick  skin  is 
not.  The  courage  of  one's  con- 
victions can  sometimes  merge  into 
blind  indifference  to  the  opinions 
of  other  people.  From  here  it  is  a 
mere  step  to  "You  be  damned!" 

Let  us  consider  the  Englishman 
as  he  appears  to  the  other  inhabi- 
tants of  the  globe,  be  they  rela- 
tives, friends,  or  foes. 


CHAPTER  TWO 


CHAPTER  TWO 

An  Englishman  and  an  Ameri- 
can, in  the  earlier  stages  of  their 
acquaintance,  are  a  complete  mys- 
tery to  one  another.  It  seems  in- 
credible that  two  such  different 
persons  should  speak  the  same 
tongue. 

The  points  of  difference  are 
not  fundamental,  but  superficial. 
However,  things  on  the  surface 
are  always  more  conspicuous  than 
things  underneath.  For  instance, 
the  Englishman  and  the  American 
are  both  naturally  warm-hearted. 
But  when  an  American  is  glad  to 
see  you,  he  shakes  your  hand  for 

13 


14        THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

quite  a  while,  and  possibly  will 
continue  to  hold  it  until  he  has  con- 
cluded his  address  of  welcome. 
The  Englishman  shakes  your  hand 
vigorously,  drops  it  like  a  hot  po- 
tato, and  murmurs  some  stereo- 
typed greeting  to  his  boots.  He 
feels  somehow  that  it  would  be 
indecent  to  go  farther. 

In  the  subsequent  conversation 
the  American  speaks  as  he  thinks, 
clearly  and  with  cohesion,  articu- 
lating every  syllable  in  a  well- 
rounded  sentence.  To  an  English- 
man, a  well-rounded  sentence 
savours  of  pedantry;  so  he  clothes 
what  is  sometimes  a  most  in- 
teresting remark  in  a  few  staccato 
phrases  and  a  "Don't  you  know?" 

The  chief  thing  that  an  English- 
man dreads  at  the  outset  of  an 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH        15 

acquaintanceship  is  expansiveness. 
The  more  the  stranger  expands, 
the  more  the  Englishman  con- 
tracts. The  only  way  to  win  his 
confidence  is  to  show  yourself  as 
reticent  and  as  perfunctory  in 
conversation  as  himself.  He  will 
then  recognize  in  you  that  rare  and 
precious  object,  a  kindred  spirit, 
thaw  rapidly,  and  unbosom  him- 
self to  a  surprising  extent. 

The  characteristic  of  the  Eng- 
lishman which  puzzles  the  Ameri- 
can most  is  his  apparent  lack  of 
interest  in  serious  matters,  and  the 
carelessness  or  frivolity  with  which 
he  refers  to  his  own  particular 
subject  or  specialty.  The  Ameri- 
can, like  the  Athenian  of  old,  is  for- 
ever seeking  for  some  new  thing. 
And  when  he  encounters  that  new 


16       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

thing,  nothing  can  prevent  him 
getting  to  the  roots  of  it.  Con- 
sequently, when  an  American  finds 
himself  in  the  company  of  a  man 
who  possesses  certain  special  skill 
or  knowledge,  it  seems  right  and 
natural  for  him  to  draw  that  man 
out  upon  his  own  subject.  But 
when  dealing  with  an  Englishman 
he  usually  draws  a  blank.  He  is 
met  either  by  a  cold  stare  or  a 
smiling  evasion.  The  man  may  be 
a  distinguished  statesman,  or 
soldier,  or  writer;  but  to  judge 
from  his  responses — half  awkward, 
half  humorous — to  your  shrewdest 
and  most  searching  queries,  on  the 
subject  of  politics,  or  war,  or  let- 
ters, you  will  be  left  with  the  im- 
pression that  you  have  been  con- 
versing with  a  flippant  and  rather 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       17 

superficial  amateur.  To  an  Ameri- 
can, who  is  accustomed  to  say  his 
prayers  to  the  gods  of  Knowledge 
and  Efficiency,  and  who,  to  do  him 
justice,  is  always  willing  to  share 
knowledge  with  others,  such  con- 
duct savours  of  childishness — nay, 
imbecility. 

What  the  American  does  not 
realize — and  one  can  hardly  blame 
him — is  this,  that  the  average 
Englishman  is  reared  up  from 
schoolboyhood  in  the  fear  of  two 
most  awful  and  potent  deities: 
"Side"  and  "Shop."  It  is"side"to 
talk  about  yourself,  or  your  work, 
or  your  achievements,  or  your 
ambitions,  or  your  wife,  or  any- 
thing that  is  yours.  This  is  per- 
haps no  bad  thing,  but  it  certainly 
handicaps  you  as  a  conversational- 


18       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

1st,  because  naturally  a  man  never 
talks  so  well  as  upon  his  own  sub- 
ject. The  twin  deity,  "Shop,"  is 
an  even  more  ruthless  tyrant. 
Never,  under  any  circumstances, 
may  you  discuss  professional  mat- 
ters out  of  official  hours.  To  talk 
"shop"  is  perhaps  the  most  ac- 
cursed crime  in  the  English  Secular 
Decalogue  (set  down  hereafter). 
For  instance,  in  an  English  military 
Mess,  a  junior  officer  who  referred 
at  table  to  matters  connected  with 
the  life  of  the  regiment  would 
render  himself  liable  to  stern  re- 
buke. At  Oxford  or  Cambridge,  an 
undergraduate  who  ventured,  dur- 
ing dinner,  upon  a  quotation  from 
the  Classics,  would  be  fined  pots  of 
ale  all  around. 

In  short,  the  more  highly  you  are 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH        19 

qualified  to  speak  on  a  subject,  the 
more  slightingly  you  refer  to  it;  and 
the  more  passionately  you  are  in- 
terested in  a  matter,  the  less  you 
say  about  it. 

However,  perhaps  it  would  be 
simpler  to  set  down  the  English- 
man's Secular  Decalogue  at  length, 
appending  thereto  the  appropriate 
comments  of  the  proverbial  Man 
from  Missouri.  Here  it  is. 

The   Englishman's    Secular   Deca- 
logue 

(1)  Thou  shalt  own  allegiance 
to  no  man,  save  The  King.  Thou 
shalt  be  deferential  to  those  above 
thee  in  station,  and  considerate  of 
those  below  thee.  To  those  of 
thine  own  rank  thou  mayest  be- 
have as  seemeth  good  to  thee. 


20       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

[The  Man  from  Missouri:  "I  own 
allegiance  to  nothing  on  earth  but 
the  American  flag.  As  a  democrat, 
I  recognize  no  man  as  being  either 
above  or  below  me  in  station."] 

(2)  Thou  shalt  worship  thine 
ancestors  and  family  connections. 

[The  Man  from  Missouri:  "You 
got  nothing  on  me  there.  We  wor- 
ship our  Ancestors,  too.  Did  you 
ever  know  an  American  who  hadn't 
got  his  pedigree  worked  out  to 
three  places  of  decimals?  Be- 
sides, that  is  why  many  of  us  have 
got  such  a  soft  spot  for  that  funny 
old  island  of  yours."] 

(3)  Thou  shalt  not  talk  " shop." 
[The  Man  from  Missouri:  "That 

strikes  me  as  punk.  As  a  business 
man,  without  any  mildewed  de- 
lusions about  ancestral  acres,  or 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH        21 

the  vulgarity  of  trade,  my  aim  in 
life  is  to  do  business,  and  do  it  all 
the  time,  and  never  worry  about 
hurting  the  feelings  of  the  family 
ghost."] 

(4)  Thou  shalt  not  put  on  side. 
[The  Man  from  Missouri:   "But 

you  do!" 

The  Englishman:  "No,  we 
don't !  That  stiffness  of  manner  is 
due  to  shyness." 

The  Man  from  Missouri:  "Very 
well,  then.  Let  it  go  at  that."] 

(5)  Thou  shalt  not  speak  aught 
but  flippantly  of  matters  that  con- 
cern thee  deeply. 

[The  Man  from  Missouri:  "There 
you  puzzle  me  to  death.  When  I 
feel  glad  about  anything,  or  bad 
about  anything,  or  mad  about  any- 
thing— well,  it  seems  only  common 


22       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

sense  to  say  so.       Can't  you  see 
that?" 

The  Englishman:  "No.  It  isn't 
done."] 

(6)  Thou  shalt  never  make 
public  thy  domestic  affairs.  Above 
all,  thou  shalt  never  make  open 
reference  to  thy  women,  in  places 
where  men  gather  together,  such 
as  the  Club. 

[The  Man  from  Missouri:  ;t  Yes, 
that  is  sound.  Still,  I  consider  that 
as  a  nation  you  rather  overdo  the 
Secrets  of  the  Harem  proposi- 
tion."] 

(7)  Thou  shalt  make  War  as  a 
Sportsman.     Thou  shalt  play  the 
game.     That  is  to  say,  thou  shalt 
not  study  the  science  too  labor- 
iously beforehand,  for  that  would 
savour  of  professionalism.       And 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       23 

when  thou  dost  fight  thou 
shalt  have  strict  regard  for  the 
rules,  even  if  it  be  to  thine  own 
hurt.  Moreover,  thou  shalt  play 
for  thy  side  and  not  for  thyself. 
Thou  shalt  visit  no  personal  af- 
front upon  thine  enemy  when  thou 
dost  capture  him,  for  that  is  not  the 
game. 

[The  Man  from  Missouri:  "Yes, 
I'm  with  you  there  all  the  time. 
Perhaps  a  little  more  seriousness 
and  a  little  less  pipeclay  might  help 
your  Army,  but  no  one  denies  their 
clean  fighting."] 

(8)  Thou  shalt  never  be  in  a 
hurry.  Thou  shalt  employ  deliber- 
ation in  thought. 

[The  Man  from  Missouri:  "Yes, 
sir,  I  know  all  about  that!  It  used 
to  make  me  hot  under  the  collar  to 


24       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

sit  and  listen  to  an  Englishman's 
mind  working — on  its  first  speed 
all  the  time.  Now  that  I  know  you 
better,  I  am  getting  used  to  it;  but 
I  confess,  right  now,  that  there  was 
a  time  when  I  regarded  your  entire 
nation  as  solid  ivory  from  the  ears 

up."] 

(9)  Thou  shalt  not  enter  into 
friendly  relations  with  a  stranger, 
least  of  all  a  foreigner,  until  thou 
shalt  have  made  enquiry  concern- 
ing him.  When  thou  hast  dis- 
covered a  common  bond,  however 
slight,  thou  shalt  take  him  to  thy 
bosom. 

[The  Man  from  Missouri:  "Yes, 
that's  right.  I  once  shared  a  ship- 
cabin  with  an  Englishman  on  a 
seven-day  trip.  For  three  days  we 
never  got  beyond  'Good  morn- 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       25 

ing,'  although  I  could  see  by  the 
look  in  his  eye  that  he  was  kindly 
disposed,  and  was  only  held  back 
by  want  of  a  reference.  However, 
the  fourth  day  out  he  asked  me  if  I 
had  ever  been  in  Shropshire.  I 
said  no,  but  my  sister  had  once 
visited  there,  with  some  people 
whose  name  I  have  now  forgotten. 
But  that  was  enough.  It  appeared 
that  he  knew  the  people;  he  was 
their  vassal,  or  overlord,  or  mort- 
gagee, or  something.  After  that  he 
wanted  to  adopt  me."] 

(10)  Thou  shalt  render  thyself 
inconspicuous.  Thou  shalt  not 
wear  unusual  apparel,  or  thou  shalt 
be  committed  to  a  special  hell  re- 
served for  those  who,  knowing 
better,  wear  made-up  ties,  or  who 
compass  unlawful  combinations  of 


26        THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

frock-coats,  derby  hats,  and  tan 
boots. 

[The  Man  from  Missouri:    "Oh, 
you  Clarence!"] 


CHAPTER  THREE 


CHAPTER  THREE 

The  Scotsman,  in  many  ways, 
regards  the  Englishman  from  the 
same  angle  as  the  American.  He 
shares  the  American's  uncon- 
cealed anxiety  to  get  to  the  root  of 
the  matter,  and  cannot  under- 
stand a  man  who  pretends  that  he 
does  not  want  to  get  to  the  root  of 
the  matter,  too.  To  a  Scotsman, 
"ma  career"  (as  John  Shand  used 
to  call  it  in  Barrie's  play)  is  the  one 
important  fact  of  life;  and  although 
the  most  reserved  creature  in  the 
world,  he  possesses  none  of  the 
Englishman's  self -consciousness ; 
and  it  never  occurs  to  him  to  do 

29 


30       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

anything  so  palpably  insincere  as  to 
disown  his  legitimate  ambitions. 
To  a  Scotsman,  then,  the  English 
are  a  frivolous,  feckless  race,  de- 
void of  ambition,  and  incapable 
of  handling  weighty  matters  with 
the  required  degree  of  seriousness. 
So  he  comes  to  London  and  takes 
the  helm.  To-day  a  Scot  is  leading 
the  British  Army  in  France,1  an- 
other is  commanding  the  British 
Grand  Fleet  at  sea,2  while  a  third 
directs  the  Imperial  General  Staff 
at  home.3  The  Lord  Chancellor  is 
a  Scot4;  so  are  the  Chancellor  of 
the  Exchequer  and  the  Foreign 
Secretary.6  (The  Prime  Minister 

1  Sir  Douglas  Haig. 

2  Admiral  Beatty. 

»Sir  William  Robertson. 
4  Lord  Findlay. 

'  A.  Bonar  Law,  who  is  half  Canadian,  and  Arthur 
James  Balfour. 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       31 

is  a  Welshman1,  and  The  First 
Lord  of  the  Admiralty  is  an  Irish- 
man.2) Yet  no  one  has  ever  yet 
brought  in  a  bill  to  give  Home 
Rule  to  England! 

Take  the  Dominions  again. 
What  is  the  attitude  of  Canada, 
Australasia,  and  South  Africa  to 
the  mother  country?  Well,  pre- 
vious to  the  War  it  must  be  con- 
fessed that  the  sons  of  the  Em- 
pire regarded  their  parent  with  a 
certain  good-humoured  tolerance, 
not  unmixed  with  irritation.  The 
British  Dominions  overseas  are 
peopled  by  an  essentially  independ- 
ent and  sturdy  race.  They  are  de- 
scended from  folk  who  left  their 
native  land  and  braved  the  un- 


1  David  Lloyd  George. 

2  Sir  Edward  Carson. 


32       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

known,  not  because  they  were 
sent,  but  because  an  adventurous 
spirit  bade  them  go  forth  and 
better  themselves.  The  British 
colonies  and  dominions  were  all 
founded  by  younger  sons,  or  men 
in  search  of  a  career.  They  were 
never  in  the  first  instance  fathered 
by  the  State,  as  such.  It  was  only 
after  British  interests  in  these  dis- 
tant lands  grew  too  great  and  un- 
wieldy for  private  control  that  the 
British  Government  reluctantly  and 
tardily  took  over  their  manage- 
ment officially.  Men  sprung  from 
such  a  stock  are  naturally  im- 
patient of  stay-at-home  folk  who 
regard  the  British  Empire  as  "Eng- 
land," and  who  speak  patronisingly 
of  "Colonials/' 

These    little    differences    were 


THE  OPPEESSED  ENGLISH       33 

purely  superficial,  and  by  the 
subtle  irony  of  fate  it  was  left  to 
Germany  to  demonstrate  how  very 
superficial  they  were.  But  they 
undoubtedly  existed,  very  largely 
owing  to  the  fact  that  some — only 
some — of  the  later  immigrants  into 
the  Dominions  were  of  a  less  hardy 
and  desirable  type  than  formerly — 
men  who  had  come  abroad  not 
from  any  spirit  of  enterprise  or  ad- 
venture, but  because  they  had 
been  a  failure  at  home.  Such  men 
were  neither  industrious  nor  adapt- 
able. It  was  this  class  that  was 
responsible  for  the  occasional  ap- 
pearance in  Canada  and  Australia 
of  the  legend:  "No  English  need 
apply."  Another  injustice  to  Eng- 
land as  a  whole ! 

India,  again.     Here  "Pax,  Bri- 


34       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

tannica"  exists  in  its  highest  and 
most  creditable  form.  India  is 
mainly  governed  by  English  uni- 
versity men,  selected  after  labo- 
rious preparation  and  searching 
examination,  from  all  walks  of  life. 
Each  of  these  men  is  a  living  ex- 
emplification of  the  British  su- 
preme talent — the  talent  for  efficient 
departmental  work  in  a  subordi- 
nate position.  He  may  rule  a 
district  containing  several  million 
souls,  and  so  long  as  he  rules  it,  he 
will  rule  justly  according  to  his 
lights,  and  he  will  not  make  a 
penny  out  of  the  operation.  In 
due  course  he  will  return  to  Eng- 
land, and  live  in  honourable  ob- 
scurity upon  a  modest  pension. 
But  all  this  will  not  save  him  from 
being  denounced  as  a  tyrant  and 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       35 

interloper.  The  hill  tribes  of  the 
north  will  cast  resentful  glances 
upon  the  man  who  represents  the 
power  which  holds  them  back  from 
the  delectable  plunderland  of  the 
south;  while  in  Bengal  over-edu- 
cated Babus  will  bleat  indignantly, 
regardless  of  the  inevitable  con- 
sequences to  their  property  and 
their  women,  for  the  immediate 
withdrawal  of  the  officious  and  un- 
necessary British  rule  from  India. 
A  thankless  existence,  my  masters, 
yet  somehow  worth  while,  despite 
endless  drudgery,  absence  of  per- 
sonal distinction,  and  years  of 
absence  from  home  and  children. 
The  Ship  goes  forward! 

On  the  Continent  of  Europe, 
again,  the  English  are  regarded 
with  varying  degrees  of  affection 


36       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

or  dislike;  but  their  appraisers  are 
all  unanimous  in  regarding  them  as 
slightly  demented.  To  the  French, 
for  instance,  the  English  Tommy, 
with  his  uncanny  frivolity  in  the 
face  of  death,  his  passion  for  tea 
and  jam,  and  his  eternal  football 
games  behind  the  trenches,  is  a 
standing  enigma  and  jest.  But 
Frenchmen  will  always  remember 
how  the  little  British  Army  hurled 
itself  to  certain  destruction,  in 
August,  1914,  at  the  mere  call  of 
friendship,  and  French  women  will 
never,  never  forget  the  exemplary 
behaviour  of  the  British  soldiers 
toward  the  civil  population  behind 
the  line. 

As  for  the  German,  his  opinion 
can  be  succinctly  summarised. 
Before  the  War  he  regarded  the 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       37 

Englishman  from  a  military  point 
of  view  as  a  negligible  quantity, 
from  the  commercial  point  of  view 
as  a  back-number,  and  from  the 
diplomatic  point  of  view  as  the 
easiest  thing  on  earth.  Now,  ac- 
cording to  latest  official  intelligence 
from  Potsdam,  it  was  the  reptile 
statesmanship  of  England  that 
conspired  with  France  and  Russia 
to  invade  peaceful  Germany,  and  it 
is  "English  gold"  that  has  lured 
the  people  of  America  to  disastrous 
participation  in  the  common  doom 
of  the  Allies.  As  a  soldier,  the 
Englishman  has  done  better  than 
Potsdam  expected:  but  only  by 
shameful  contravention  of  the 
usages  of  war.  The  Prussian  is  a 
great  stickler  for  etiquette  in  this 
respect.  War  to  him,  whether  he 


38        THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

be  emitting  chlorine  gas  or  sinking 
a  hospital  ship,  is  a  serious — nay, 
sacred — business.  But  the  imbecile 
English  persist  in  regarding  war  as 
a  game.  What  is  worse,  they  win 
the  game.  Not  long  ago  a  regi- 
ment of  "Kitchener's  Army"  cap- 
tured a  strongly  fortified  village 
from  the  Prussian  Guard.  That 
was  bad  enough,  but  the  manner  in 
which  it  was  done  amounted  to 
nothing  less  than  an  outrageous 
breach  of  professional  etiquette. 
They  went  to  the  assault  kicking  a 
football !  Their  commander  kicked 
off,  and  they  never  stopped  until 
they  had  kicked  the  ball,  riddled 
with  bullets,  into  the  trench  and 
captured  the  garrison.  And  yet  the 
English  have  the  temerity  to  com- 
plain of  German  breaches  of  Inter- 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       39 

national  Law!  Yes,  I  fear  the 
English  are  most  harshly  spoken  of 
in  Germany  just  now. 

There  remains  one  other  point  of 
view  to  consider,  and  that  is  the 
Irish  point  of  view.  It  must  have  a 
chapter  to  itself .  Ireland  usually 
gets  a  chapter  to  herself. 


CHAPTER  FOUR 


CHAPTER  FOUR 

One  of  the  first  queries  put  to  a 
Briton  by  an  American  after  the 
pair  have  achieved  a  certain  de- 
gree of  intimacy,  is:  "Why  can't 
you  people  settle  the  Irish  Ques- 
tion?" 

The  form  of  the  query  varies  hi 
intensity.  Earnest  well-wishers 
say:  "I  don't  profess  to  under- 
stand the  ins  and  outs  of  the  mat- 
ter, but  wouldn't  it  save  a  deal  of 
trouble  all  round  if  you  were  to 
give  them  Home  Rule  and  have 
done  with  it  ?  "  Candid  friends  say, 
quite  simply:  "If  you  English 
can't  run  Ireland  yourselves,  why 

43 


44          THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

not  let  the  Irish  have  a  try?" 
(Here  again  we  may  note  that 
England,  not  Great  Britain,  gets 
the  blame.)  Finally,  a  well-mean- 
ing but  ferocious  lady  wrote  to  me 
the  other  day  from  the  Middle 
West,  to  enquire:  "How  does 
England  dare  to  pose  as  the  cham- 
pion of  Belgium,  when  all  the  while 
she  is  grinding  poor  Ireland  under 
her  heel?" 

All  this  is  very  illuminating,  and 
at  the  same  time  distressing,  to  the 
stay-at-home  Briton,  who  had  al- 
ways imagined  that  his  domestic 
troubles  were  his  own  property, 
and  were  not  causing  concern  to 
other  people.  But  it  is  an  un- 
doubted fact,  and  cannot  be  too 
strongly  impressed  upon  the  Eng- 
lish people,  that  the  failure  of 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       45 

Great  Britain  to  settle  the  so- 
called  Irish  Question  is  a  distinct 
bar  to  a  complete  entente  cordiale 
with  America,  and,  to  a  certain 
extent,  with  the  British  Dominions 
overseas. 

But  before  plunging  more  deeply 
into  the  matter,  let  us  make  one 
thing  clear.  It  is  not  from  want  of 
effort  or  from  lack  of  good  will  on 
the  part  of  the  English  people  that 
the  Irish  problem  still  remains  un- 
solved. 

This  is  not,  thank  Heaven!  a 
disquisition  upon  the  pros  and 
cons  of  the  Home  Rule  Question. 
Home  Rule  is  coming  quite  soon, 
anyway.  But  it  is  permissible  to 
set  down  here,  briefly,  the  reasons 
why  the  English  people  have  so 
steadily  declined  to  accede  to  Ire- 


46       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

land's  persistent  demand  for  a 
separate  Parliament  for  so  many 
years. 

The  first  rock  upon  which  both 
sides  split  is  the  difficulty  of  de- 
termining what,  exactly,  is  meant 
by  "Home  Rule." 

When  a  responsible  leader  of  the 
Irish  Nationalist  party  states  his 
case  to  an  audience  which  is 
friendly  without  being  bigoted — in 
Canada,  say,  or  at  a  meeting  of 
moderate  English  Liberals — he 
clothes  his  appeal  in  some  such 
words  as  these: 

"All  we  ask  is  the  right,  as  a 
little  nation,  to  conduct  our 
affairs  in  our  own  way,  without  in- 
terference from  the  officials  of 
another  and  more  powerful  nation. 
Ireland  free,  and  Ireland  a  nation, 


THE  OPPKESSED  ENGLISH       47 

can  then  take  her  proper  place  as  a 
loyal  daughter  of  the  Empire,  side 
by  side  with  Canada  and  Aus- 
tralia." 

Well,  nothing  could  sound  more 
reasonable  or  unexceptionable  than 
that.  But  two  comments  present 
themselves.  In  the  first  place,  you 
will  note  that  the  orator  says  "  We." 
"  We  "  means  the  Nationalist  Party, 
representing  about  seventy  per 
cent. — possibly  more — of  the  Irish 
nation,  and  ignores  the  existence  of 
the  minority — a  minority  which, 
before  the  War,  had  deliberately 
and  openly  declared  its  intention, 
and  was  fully  prepared,  to  fight  and 
die  rather  than  be  forced  out  of  the 
Union.  Such  a  determination  was 
doubtless  very  indefensible,  but 
there  it  stands.  It  is  recorded  here 


48        THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

as  one  of  the  trifling  factors  which 
prevent  the  Irish  Question  from 
being  settled  out  of  hand  by  the 
mere  wave  of  some  amateur 
magician's  wand.  Secondly*  it 
implies  that  Ireland  is  not  free. 
Now  here  is  a  statement  that  can 
be  refuted  at  once.  Ireland  is  just 
as  free  as  England  and  Scotland 
and  Wales.  In  one  respect  her 
freedom  is  very  much  greater,  for 
she  is  heavily  over-represented  in 
the  House  of  Commons.  An  Irish 
member,  returned  by  a  remote 
Galway  fishing  village  of  fifteen 
hundred  voters,  can  balance  the 
vote,  say,  of  an  English  member 
representing  a  great  working-class 
constituency  of  forty  or  fifty 
thousand.  If  a  redistribution  of 
seats,  on  a  basis  of  proportional 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       49 

representation,  were  to  be  ordered 
in  the  House  of  Commons  to-day, 
Ireland  would  automatically  lose 
about  thirty  seats.  The  Irish 
members,  then,  wield  a  power  in 
the  councils  of  the  United  King- 
dom to-day  quite  out  of  proportion 
to  the  population  of  the  country 
which  they  represent. 

In  another  respect  Ireland  en- 
joys a  freedom  not  vouchsafed  to 
the  nations  of  the  sister  isle.  In  the 
dim  and  distant  days  before  the 
War,  Mr.  Lloyd  George  was  en- 
gaged in  a  campaign  of  what  his 
friends  called  Social  Reform,  and 
his  victims  Rank  Piracy.  One  of 
his  most  unpopular  nights  of  legis- 
lation was  the  Land  Valuation  Act, 
and  another  was  his  National  In- 
surance scheme.  Neither  of  these 


50       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

acts  has  ever  been  visited  upon 
Ireland,  for  the  simple  reason  that 
the  Irish  people  refused  to  enter- 
tain them  at  any  price;  so  the 
oppressed  English,  as  usual,  gave 
way,  and  paid  the  piper  alone. 
Again,  last  year,  when  the  Military 
Service  Act,  imposing  conscription 
upon  every  able-bodied  man  be- 
tween nineteen  and  forty-one,  be- 
came law,  Ireland  was  once  more 
exempted.  To  the  black  shame 
and  grief  of  every  true  Irishman, 
Ireland  to-day  stands  officially 
aloof  and  alone  in  the  struggle  for 
liberty  and  humanity.  The 
thousands  of  her  gallant  sons  who 
are  fighting  in  the  trenches  along- 
side their  English  and  Scottish  and 
Ulster  comrades  find  difficulty  in 
filling  up  the  gaps  in  their  ranks, 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH        51 

because  certain  of  their  brothers 
prefer  to  stay  at  home — to  make 
political  bargains,  or  to  engage  in 
the  profitable  task  of  supplying  the 
demands  of  depleted  Great  Britain 
for  ablebodied  labour. 

So  much,  then,  for  the  little 
flaws  underlying  the  responsible 
Nationalist's  earnest  appeal.  But 
a  greater  shock  to  the  sentimental 
supporter  of  Home  Rule,  as  such, 
comes  when  he  is  confronted  with 
this  same  modest  proposal  trans- 
lated into  the  actual  terms  of  an 
Act  of  Parliament.  The  Home 
Rule  Act,  the  storm-centre  of  the 
summer  of  1914 — so  severe  was  the 
storm  that  it  quite  dispelled  the 
fears  of  Germany  lest  Great  Britain 
should  step  in  and  interfere  with 
the  great  coup  planned  for  August 


52       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

— contained  the  following  pro- 
visions; and  these  provisions  were 
the  irreducible  minimum  which  the 
Nationalist  Party  (who  held  the 
balance  of  power  in  the  House) 
were  prepared  to  accept: 

(1)  A  Parliament  to  be  estab- 
lished in  Dublin. 

(2)  Ireland  to  be  exempt  from 
Imperial  taxation.     Great  Britain 
was  to  pay  for  the  entire  upkeep 
of  the  Army  and  Navy,  but  to 
continue  to  pay  the  Irish  Old  Age 
Pensions,  together  with  an  annual 
subsidy     to     Ireland.     In     other 
words,  England  and  Scotland  were 
to  find  the  money,  and  The  Irish 
Executive  were  to  spend  it.     The 
sum  involved,  including  both  di- 
rect  payments   and   remissions  of 
taxation,  amounted  to  an  annual 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       53 

free  gift  of  about  thirty-five  million 
dollars. 

(3)  About  forty  Irish  members 
were  to  be  retained  in  the  House  of 
Commons. 

There  were  many  other  clauses, 
but  these  three  will  suffice  to  show 
the  difference  between  a  Home  Ruler 
indulging  in  sentimental  aspira- 
tions and  the  same  gentleman  en- 
gaged in  the  transaction  of  busi- 
ness. The  second  clause  might 
have  passed  muster;  for  the  Eng- 
lishman, with  all  his  faults,  has 
never  been  niggardly.  But  Clause 
Three  broke  the  camel's  back. 

To  the  average  Englishman  the 
one  redeeming  feature  of  Home 
Rule  was  the  prospect  it  offered  of 
getting  rid,  once  and  for  all,  of  the 
Irish  members  from  Westminster. 


The  gentle  intimation  that  forty  of 
these  would  still  remain,  to  assist 
in  the  counsels  of  England  and 
Scotland,  and  incidentally  to  glean 
such  further  pickings  for  Ireland  as 
could  be  secured  by  the  help  of  forty 
skilfully  manipulated  votes,  was  too 
much  even  for  the  much-enduring 
Englishman.  The  worm  turned, 
and  the  storm  broke.  It  is  difficult 
to  understand  why  such  an  astute 
leader  as  Mr.  Redmond  should 
have  insisted  upon  such  a  con- 
dition; for  it  automatically  de- 
stroyed the  claim  upon  which  he 
based  his  plea  for  the  sympathy 
of  the  United  States  and  the 
Dominions — namely,  the  plea  that 
Ireland  should  be  permitted  to 
govern  herself  after  the  fashion  of 
Canada  and  Australia,  neither  in- 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       55 

terfering  with  or  being  interfered 
with  by  the  Parliament  at  West- 
minster. 

Further  into  the  political  merits 
of  the  case  we  need  not  go.  As  al- 
ready stated,  the  purpose  of  this 
disquisition  is  not  to  prove  a  case 
for  or  against  Home  Rule,  but  to 
point  out  to  friends  whose  knowl- 
edge of  the  subject  has  been  de- 
rived almost  entirely  from  the 
perfervid  orations  of  imaginative 
gentlemen  with  Irish  surnames  and 
(too  often)  German  salaries,  who 
have  abandoned  their  beloved  land 
for  the  more  sympathetic  and 
lucrative  atmosphere  of  New  York 
— firstly,  that  England  during  the 
past  fifty  years  has  stopped  at 
nothing,  short  of  the  disintegration 
of  the  United  Kingdom,  to  remove 


56       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

and  assuage  the  ancient  grievance 
of  Ireland;  and  secondly,  that  the 
chief  bar  to  a  complete  and  speedy 
settlement  of  the  affair  is,  and  al- 
ways has  been,  the  inability  of  a 
lovable  but  irresponsible  people 
to  agree  amongst  themselves  as  to 
what  they  really  want. 

The  task  of  redressing  wrongs 
has  not  been  confined  to  one  Party. 
Fifty  years  ago  the  Church  of 
England  was  the  Established 
Church  of  Ireland — an  obvious  in- 
justice to  a  people  of  whom  the 
great  majority  were  Catholics. 
Therefore  the  Church  of  England 
in  Ireland  was  disestablished,  by  a 
Liberal  Government  under  Mr. 
Gladstone.  Again.,  for  generations 
the  cry  had  gone  up  from  Ireland 
that  Irish  land  was  owned  by  great 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       57 

landlords  of  English  descent,  who 
spent  most  of  their  time  in  London, 
and  confined  their  energies  as  lords 
of  the  manor  to  evicting  such  of 
their  tenants  as  could  not  or  would 
not  pay  their  rent.  This  was 
obviously  a  very  wrong  state  of 
affairs,  and  fifteen  years  ago  a 
Unionist  Government  set  out  to 
put  it  right.  Parliament  passed 
George  Wyndham's  Land  Pur- 
chase Act,  the  object  of  which  was 
to  enable  the  tenant-farmers  of 
Ireland  to  buy  their  farms  from  the 
landlords.  The  tenant  was  invited 
to  state  the  sum  which  he  could 
afford  to  pay  for  his  farm,  and  the 
landlord  was  invited  to  state  the 
sum  which  he  was  prepared  to 
accept.  This  was  indeed  a  gor- 
geous opportunity  for  both  tenant 


58       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

arid  landlord.  The  two  amounts, 
having  been  stated,  were  adjusted 
and  confirmed  by  a  Board,  and  the 
intervening  gap — no  small  gap,  as 
may  be  imagined — was  bridged  by 
the  English  taxpayer.  This  little 
experiment  in  philanthropy  cost 
the  tyrannical  English  consider- 
ably more  than  five  hundred  mil- 
lion dollars.  Under  its  provisions 
every  Irish  peasant  is  now  his  own 
proprietor.  Evictions  are  a  thing 
of  the  past.  Yet  how  often  is  this 
fact  so  much  as  admitted  by 
soulful  exploiters  of  Erin's  wrongs 
in  America  or  the  Dominions? 

Then,  as  regards  Ireland's  in- 
ability to  express  her  desires  with  a 
single  voice.  Roughly,  Irish 
political  parties  fall  under  the  fol- 
lowing heads : 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH        59 

(1)  The  official  Nationalist 
Party,  under  Mr.  John  Redmond. 

(«)  The  Protestants  of  the 
North. 

(3)  The  Unionists  of  the  South 
and  West. 

(4)  The  frankly  revolutionary 
party  (Sinn  Feinn,  Clan-na-Gael, 
etc.),  whose  "  platform "  is  absolute 
separation  from  England  and  the 
British  Empire. 

The  official  Nationalist  Party  is 
divided  into  many  groups,  but  at 
its  best  it  represents  the  true  soul 
of  Ireland — the  soul  of  a  high- 
spirited,  imaginative,  and  in- 
tensely quick-witted  people — 
fiercely  impatient  of  the  stolid, 
matter-of-fact,  self-complacent  race 
across  the  Irish  Sea.  In  this  re- 
spect Ireland  resembles  a  "ten> 


60         THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

peramental"  wife  married  to  an  in- 
tensely respectable  but  unexciting 
husband.  She  wants  to  "live  her 
own  life."  The  Irish  character 
again,  ever  prone  to  dream  and 
brood,  prevents  Ireland  from  for- 
getting her  ancient  wrongs. 
Heaven  knows  they  were  grievous 
enough;  but  they  were  probably  no 
worse  than  those  of  Scotland;  and 
if  they  had  been  regarded  as  hers 
were  by  Scotland,  they  need  have 
left  no  permanent  mark.  Edward 
the  First,  "The  Hammer  of  the 
Scots,"  wrought  no  less  havoc  in  the 
days  of  Wallace  than  Essex  and 
Sir  John  Perrot  in  the  time  of 
Elizabeth.  Ireland  has  her  Or- 
monde, and  that  grim  forerunner 
of  Democracy,  Oliver  Cromwell. 
Scotland  can  point,  with  an  equal 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH        61 

degree  of  unhappy  satisfaction,  to 
Claverhouse  and  the  Butcher 
Cumberland.  But  the  phlegmatic 
Scot  has  avenged  these  outrages  in 
subtle  fashion.  He  does  not 
brood;  he  simply  migrates  to  Eng- 
land in  the  capacity  of  a  peaceful 
trader,  and  proceeds  to  spoil  the 
Egyptians  at  his  leisure.  Ireland, 
differently  constituted,  refuses  to 
forget.  And  it  is  those  two  over- 
whelming forces — undying  resent- 
ment, and  impatience  of  the  con- 
trol of  an  intellectually  inferior 
though  mentally  more  stable  race 
— that  lie  at  the  root  of  the  Irish 
Home  Rule  agitation  of  to-day. 
"Leave  us  to  ourselves!"  cry  the 
Nationalists.  "We  don't  wantio 
be  brought  up-to-date!  We  don't 
want  to  be  made  business-like  and 


62       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

efficient !  We  don't  want  scientific 
farming,  or  state-aided  incubators, 
or  sanitary  milk  cans.  We  are  not 
interested  in  the  glorious  British 
Empire.  We  only  ask  to  be  left 
alone  with  our  own  beloved,  witty, 
unmethodical  country,  to  manage 
or  mismanage  as  we  please ! "  And 
it  is  that  sentiment  which  has 
underlain  the  steady,  consistent  re- 
sistance of  the  official  Nationalist 
Party  to  all  attempts  on  the  part  of 
England — some  of  them  very  ad- 
mirable attempts — to  improve  the 
condition  of  Ireland.  Their  atti- 
tude is  perfectly  logical.  Such 
legislation,  if  successful,  would 
prevent  the  coming  of  Home  Rule. 
And  most  of  the  bitterness  and 
sorrow  of  the  last  thirty  years  has 
arisen  from  the  inability — perhaps 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       63 

natural — of  the  average  matter-of- 
fact  Englishman  to  appreciate  that 
attitude  of  mind. 

"We  offer  you,"  he  says,  "a 
fair  and  equal  share — the  same  as 
our  own — in  the  running  of  the 
greatest  Empire  that  the  world  has 
ever  seen.  For  goodness  sake 
what  more  do  you  want?"  And 
back,  without  fail,  comes  the 
unvarying  cry — so  heartfelt,  so 
tragic,  yet  in  many  ways  so  unsub- 
stantial : — 

"Ireland  a  Nation!  Ireland 
Free!" 

And  if  only  Ireland  could  have 
formulated  her  appeal  in  a  spirit 
more  in  accordance  with  that 
genuine  cri  du  cceur,  and  less  in  the 
spirit  of  the  extremely  materialistic 
Home  Rule  Bill  of  1914,  there  is 


64       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

little  doubt  that  she  would  have 
had  her  wish  long  ago. 

Then  Ulster.  The  men  of 
Ulster  differ  entirely  from  the 
other  elements  of  Irish  political 
society  in  knowing  exactly  what 
they  want. 

"We  belong,"  they  announce, 
"to  the  Union;  we  are  proud  of  the 
Union;  and  we  shall  resist,  to  the 
death  if  need  be,  any  attempts  to 
force  us  out  of  it." 

That  is  all  there  is  to  be  said 
about  Ulster.  But  the  brevity  of 
Ulster's  contribution  to  the  con- 
troversy does  not  simplify  the 
solution  in  any  way. 

Here  is  a  curious  footnote  to  the 
Ulster  problem.  Americans  will 
remember  that  in  the  early  summer 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       65 

of  1914  certain  British  Regiments 
(unconscious  of  the  very  different 
task  which  awaited  them  in  Au- 
gust) were  instructed  to  hold  them- 
selves in  readiness  to  enforce  the 
Home  Rule  Act  on  Ulster.  A 
number  of  the  officers  of  those  regi- 
ments resigned  their  commissions 
rather  than  fight  against  their  own 
kin.  They  were  much  criticised  at 
the  time.  But  in  1776,  when  the 
British  Army  was  mobilized  against 
the  American  Colonies,  a  number 
of  British  officers  resigned  their 
commissions,  too  (and  incidentally 
sacrificed  their  careers ) ,  rather  than 
fight  against  their  own  flesh  and 
blood  across  the  sea.  Thus  does 
History  repeat  herself.  * 

Then  the  Unionists  of  the  West 


66        THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

and  South.  Their  sentiments  are 
the  sentiments  of  Ulster,  but  their 
position  is  very  different.  Though 
numerically  quite  strong,  they  are 
scattered  over  a  wide  area.  They 
cannot,  like  centralized  Ulster,  act 
on  "interior  lines";  and  it  is  prob- 
able that  when  a  definite  form  of 
Home  Rule  crystallizes  out  of  the 
present  turmoil,  it  will  be  found 
that  their  interests  have  been 
sacrificed  by  the  mutual  consent  of 
the  stronger  factions. 

Lastly,  that  curious  medley  of 
brooding  visionaries — ever  the  prey 
of  the  agitator — political  place- 
hunters,  subsidised  pro-Germans, 
and  ordinary  cut-throats,  which 
calls  itself  Sinn  Feinn.  This  inter- 
esting organization  is  actuated  by  a 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       67 

variety  of  sentiments,  varying  from 
a  passionate  remembrance  of  woes 
long  past  down  to  a  sound  business 
instinct  for  the  loaves  and  fishes  of 
salaried  office.  The  tie  which  binds 
together  all  its  incongruous  ele- 
ments is  a  fierce  hatred  of  England, 
derived  possibly  from  the  remem- 
brance that  rather  more  than  two 
centuries  ago  Oliver  Cromwell 
sacked  the  fair  city  of  Drogheda,  or 
in  certain  individual  cases  from  a 
lively  personal  recollection  of  hav- 
ing been  committed  to  gaol  for 
three  months  by  a  tyrannical  mag- 
istrate for  the  trifling  indiscretion 
of  burglary  or  theft. 

Whatever  its  motives  or  ideals, 
this  party  has  only  one  panacea  for 
all  ills,  and  that  is  complete  separa- 
tion from  *  'England . ' '  They  aspire 


68         THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

to  none  of  the  status  of  Canada  or 
the  other  Dominions;  they  are  out 
for  secession,  pure  and  simple — 
secession  accompanied,  if  possible, 
by  a  mortal  blow  at  the  hated  pride 
of  England.  In  order  to  put  their 
amiable  intention  into  effect,  the 
Sinn  Feinners  proceeded,  on  Easter 
Monday  of  1916,  to  deal  the 
British  peoples,  including  some 
three  hundred  thousand  of  their 
own  compatriots  serving  on  the 
Western  Front,  a  stab  in  the  back  in 
the  shape  of  that  grim  medley  of 
tragedy  and  farce,  the  Dublin 
"revolution."  The  farce  was  sup- 
plied by  Germany,  which  deposited 
upon  the  western  shores  of  Ireland, 
from  a  submarine,  a  degenerate 
criminal  lunatic  named  Casement, 
who  had  already  failed  egregiously 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       69 

in  a  monstrous  effort  to  seduce 
the  Irish  prisoners  in  the  Ger- 
man prison  camps  from  allegiance 
to  their  cause.  Casement  was 
promptly  arrested  by  the  local 
village  policeman,  and  his  share  in 
the  matter  ended.  But  in  Dublin 
there  was  no  lack  of  tragedy.  The 
forces  of  the  "revolution**  struck 
the  first  blow  for  Freedom  by  an 
indiscriminate  massacre  of  such 
British  soldiers  as  happened  to  be 
strolling  about  the  streets,  unarmed, 
in  their  "walking  out "  dress.  The 
killing  was  then  extended  to  a  large 
number  of  innocent  civilians,  not 
all  of  the  male  sex ;  and  the  apostles 
of  Freedom  then  settled  down,  with 
the  able  assistance  of  the  slum  pop- 
ulation, to  the  unrestrained  looting 
of  the  shops  and  houses  of  Dublin. 


70        THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

Naturally  the  whole  of  Ireland 
stood  aghast  at  the  crime.  Denun- 
ciations of  the  murderers  poured  in 
from  every  side,  irrespective  of 
political  creed.  The  leader  of  the 
Nationalist  Party  publicly  repudi- 
ated and  condemned  the  occur- 
rence in  the  House  of  Commons. 
Never  did  England  and  Ireland 
stand  so  close  together  as  on  that 
day.  But  one  thing  was  morally 
certain  from  the  start,  and  that  was 
that  when  the  first  flush  of  indigna- 
tion had  died  down,  the  old  per- 
nicious sentimentality  and  political 
animus  would  raise  their  heads 
again.  And  it  was  so.  The  "revo- 
lution ' '  was  crushed.  Some  twelve 
or  fifteen  executions  took  place, 
either  of  men  who  had  been  di- 
rectly convicted  of  deliberate 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH        71 

murder,  or  of  those  who  had  set 
their  names  to  the  outrageous 
document  which  authorized  the 
same.  It  is  difficult,  considering 
the  circumstances,  to  see  how  a 
conscientious  tribunal  could  have 
done  less,  for  to  have  condoned 
such  a  blend  of  black  treachery  and 
plain  murder  would  rightly  have 
been  construed  as  an  act  of  weak- 
ness. But  it  is  even  more  difficult 
— nay,  impossible — to  conceive 
any  handling  of  the  situation  out  of 
which  persons  interested  would 
have  refrained  from  making  politi- 
cal capital.  The  Oppressed  Eng- 
lish were  booked  for  trouble,  both 
"going  and  coming." 

Probably  it  would  have  been 
best  to  have  held  a  series  of  drum- 
head courts-martial,  followed  by 


72       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

instantaneous  executions,  wher- 
ever necessary,  while  public 
opinion  was  not  merely  prepared 
but  anxious  for  such.  .But  that  is 
not  the  English  way.  Each  pris- 
oner was  accorded  a  full,  con- 
scientious, and  lengthy  trial.  What 
was  worse,  the  trials  were  held 
seriatim;  with  the  result  that  by  the 
time  the  last  man  had  been  con- 
demned or  acquitted,  Irish  public 
opinion,  ever  volatile,  had  veered 
round  to  an  attitude  of  sympathy 
with  the  frustrated  conspirators. 
The  opportunity  to  denounce 
"English  justice"  was  too  strong. 
The  fact  that  scores  of  innocent 
people  had  been  foully  murdered 
by  the  "revolutionists"  was  for- 
gotten. As  might  have  been  an- 
ticipated from  the  start,  the  odium 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       73 

for  the  whole  tragic  occurrence, 
both  the  crime  and  the  punish- 
ment, was  laid  by  popular  acclama- 
tion upon  the  shoulders  of  Eng- 
land. To-day,  particularly  in  the 
United  States,  industrious  propa- 
gandists are  busily  engaged  in  ex- 
tolling the  virtues  of  the  departed 
criminals ;  and  no  tale  seems  too  im- 
probable, no  accusation  too  fan- 
tastic, for  those  whose  profession  it 
is  to  disseminate  them. 

One  case  in  particular  has  gained 
unnecessary  notoriety  in  the 
United  States.  An  unfortunate 
man  named  Skeffington,  a  harmless 
visionary,  instead  of  following  the 
counsels  of  common  sense  and  stay- 
ing at  home,  wandered  forth  into 
the  streets  of  Dublin  during  the 
height  of  the  rioting.  Here  he  was 


74       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

arrested  by  an  English  officer  who, 
with  a  party  of  troops,  was  en- 
gaged in  clearing  the  streets.  This 
officer  had  recently  returned  from 
the  Western  Front  on  sick  leave. 
Utterly  unstrung  by  the  appalling 
sights  which  confronted  him,  he 
appears  to  have  suddenly  lost  his 
mental  balance.  At  the  end  of  the 
day  he  visited  the  barracks  where 
his  prisoners  were  confined,  se- 
lected Skeffington  and  two  others, 
and  ordered  their  execution.  The 
sentence  was  carried  out.  In  due 
course  the  matter  was  reported  to 
the  authorities ;  a  searching  inquiry 
was  held;  and  the  afflicted  officer 
was  confined  in  an  insane  asylum. 
Such  are'  the  facts  of  the  wretched 
occurrence;  the  wonder  is,  not  that 
it  should  have  happened,  but  that, 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       75 

in  all  the  turmoil  and  agony  of  that 
hellish  night  in  Dublin,  it  should 
only  have  happened  once.  But  it 
is  easy  to  imagine  the  form  in 
which  the  story  is  being  presented 
in  the  United  States.  Poor  Skef- 
fington  is  now  canonised  as  a  man 
who  died  for  freedom  with  his  back 
against  a  wall;  while  his  widow  is, 
or  was,  touring  the  chief  cities  of 
America,  where  she  is  being  ex- 
ploited by  astute  politicians  (with 
Teutonic  axes  to  grind)  as  a  victim 
of  the  tyrannical  "English"  Govern- 
ment. 


CHAPTER  FIVE 


CHAPTER  FIVE 

The  redeeming  feature  of  Irish 
politics  lies  in  the  fact  that  the 
grimmest  tragedy  is  never  far  re- 
moved from  the  wildest  farce.  For 
example,  within  the  last  few 
months  two  by-elections  have  been 
held  in  Ireland  for  the  purpose  of 
returning  new  members  to  the 
House  of  Commons.  In  each  case 
the  candidates  have  been  respect- 
ively an  official  Nationalist  and  a 
Sinn  Feinner.  That  is  to  say,  a 
representative  of  the  constitutional 
Home  Rule  Party  has  been  pitted 
against  a  member  of  the  frankly 
separatist  and  revolutionary  party. 

79 


80       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

In  each  case  the  Sinn  Feinner  has 
been  elected.  The  fact  that  one 
of  these  gentlemen  is  at  present 
undergoing  a  term  of  penal  servi- 
tude somewhat  prejudices  his 
chances  of  taking  part  for  the 
present  in  the  counsels  of  the 
Empire.  It  also  adds  one  more 
little  complication  to  the  task  of 
selecting  a  suitable  constitution  for 
a  nation  which  allows  its  un- 
doubted sense  of  humour  to  run 
away  so  completely  with  its  sense 
of  national  responsibility. 

As  these  words  are  written,  the 
news  comes  that  that  resourceful 
statesman,  David  Lloyd  George, 
has  conceived  the  happy  notion  of 
collecting  all  the  Irish  political 
parties  around  one  table,  with  in- 
structions to  evolve  a  constitution 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       81 

of  their  own — the  instructions 
being  backed  by  the  information 
that  the  offspring  of  this  conven- 
tion, provided  it  conforms  to  the 
most  elementary  criterions  of  com- 
mon sense,  will  receive  official 
endorsement  forthwith.  The  pres- 
ent titanic  struggle  on  the  Western 
Front  pales  into  insignificance  at 
the  thought  of  what  will  go  on 
around  that  table.  What  will  be 
evolved  we  do  not  know;  but  two 
things  seem  certain.  Firstly,  prac- 
tically any  scheme  of  Home  Rule 
upon  which  the  combatants  can 
agree  will  be  accepted  by  the 
people  of  England  and  Scotland. 
They  are  genuinely  fond  of  their 
brave,  witty,  and  turbulent  neigh- 
bours; they  are  genuinely  apprecia- 
tive of  the  splendid  work  that  has 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

been  done  in  the  War  by  the  Irish 
troops;  they  are  broadminded 
enough  to  bear  no  malice  for  the 
recent  disturbance  in  Dublin,  for 
they  can  now  view  that  untimely 
abortion  in  the  right  perspective; 
and  they  are  painfully  conscious 
that  their  own  efforts  to  confer 
peace  and  contentment  upon  Ire- 
land have  not  been  an  unqualified 
success.  Finally,  they  are  sick  of 
strife  and  argument;  and  it  is 
probable  that  any  scheme  which 
does  not  abandon  Ireland,  and  in- 
cidentally expose  the  adjoining 
coast  of  England,  to  the  intrigues 
and  designs  of  a  corrupt  and 
Teutonically  inclined  Separatist 
Party — and  it  is  this  fear  which  has 
lain  at  the  very  foot  of  English 
opposition  to  Irish  Home  Rule  for 


THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH       83 

generations — will  go  through.   And 
may  that  day  not  be  far  distant! 

Secondly  (and  from  the  point  of 
view  of  this  laboured  discourse, 
most  important  of  all),  it  can  never 
be  said  again,  either  by  doubting 
friend  or  candid  critic,  that  Ireland 
is  debarred  from  selecting  her  own 
form  of  government  by  the  action 
of  the  English  people. 


CHAPTER  SIX 


CHAPTER  SIX 

Ireland,  as  ever,  has  drawn  us  far 
from  our  text. 

But  I  have  said  enough  to 
demonstrate  to  unbiassed  observ- 
ers the  present  deplorable  status 
of  that  unfortunate  country,  Eng- 
land. To-day  her  chief  offices  of 
State  are  occupied  by  Scotsmen  of 
the  most  ruthless  type;  Wales  sup- 
plies her  with  Prime  Ministers; 
while  Ireland  appropriates  all  her 
spare  cash  and  calls  her  a  blood- 
sucker. When  the  War  is  over, 
and  the  world  has  leisure  to  devote 
itself  to  certain  long-postponed 
domestic  reforms,  it  is  most  de- 

87 


88       THE  OPPRESSED  ENGLISH 

voutly  to  be  hoped  that  the  case  of 
that  unhappy  but  not  undeserving 
people,  the  English,  may  be  taken 
in  hand,  and  that  they  be  granted 
some  measure,  however  slight,  of 
political  freedom.  After  that  we 
must  do  something  for  Poland. 


THE  COUNTRY  LIFE  PRESS 
GARDEN  CITY,  N.  Y. 


DATE  DUE 


GAYLORD 


1NTEOINU.S.A. 


_ 


